💆 Of Makeup Mantras and Bhallas

 

 

 Naach 2017

This Saturday was different than any other..it was the day of the performance. All night, I kept awake going thru the dance routines in my head and now the day had finally come. I just wanted it to be over soon. It wasn’t the performance itself that was bothering me, but all the prep work that one has to do for that 10 mins of limelight..hair, makeup, jewelry, costumes and the drive to the place.

I was supposed to meet up with the 5 of the girls at Pree’s house, so we could car pool from there onwards. My friendly neighbor G had agreed to come over to my house to do my eye makeup...gold eyeshadow and all. We had studied enough online videos to nail the look. By 4 pm, I had gotten my gear on and was waiting for G to come.  The doorbell rang and G walked in rather efficiently, carrying a makeup kit, looking no less than a doctor making a house call. She got down to business right away and worked on the eyes...well, what I thought would take 15 mins actually took 45. Honestly, by the end of the whole operation, my eyes looked like those on an indian devi maata, but then thats what stage makeup is all about I guess. I was all dressed up and ready except my hair that Pree has agreed to curl for me. In fact, that was the main reason I was going to her place ..she had assured me that curling my hair would be a piece of cake for her..she knows hair!

I drove down to Pree’s house, walk up the stairs to the room where the girls were getting ready. As soon as the first one saw me, she almost shrieked...’Your face?’ then realization set in ‘Oh, is that makeup?', and now the quick recovery ‘wow...but it looks nice on you’.  Behind her, the other girls just stood still, simply looking at me, like a scientist stares at a specimen under the microscope..fully focussed.

I, on the other hand, was equally aghast at their faces...where was the makeup, did they not know we have to be on stage in a short while?! We were supposed to be done by now (except my hair curling). Well, turns out, according to them, they had already finished doing their makeup which, upon my close inspection,  consisted only of a light lip gloss and delicately lined eyes,  the kind of makeup you would do when heading to the local grocery store, you know..just in case the grocer is somewhat of a looker ;-)

Anyway, they kept insisting that their makeup mantra is  ‘less is more’. Now, just between you and me, if Katrina Kaif had said this,  I wouldnt argue at all, but we all seriously could not afford this kind of nonchalant attitude, our faces needed makeup and lots of it!  I gave them a quick lecture on what stage makeup is all about and that no matter how extraordinary the dance moves are, it is a wasted effort if the face looks flat (I was hoping they would read between the lines, and understand that if the dance moves are not extraordinary, then a dramatic face makeup is even more important, and can serve as a weapon of mass distraction). I made it clear that we need to add some more layers to their face,  and pretty soon they were all nodding in agreement. They were now repeating my new mantra ‘more is less’. I told them I had not done my own eye makeup so they needed to fix their own faces, however before I knew it, they all got in a queue in front of me so I could do my magic, and the first one plonked herself on a chair under my nose.  Now my hands are not usually shaky, but somehow today due to the overall anxiety of the day, they were doing a crazy shake dance of their own. Needless to say, the eyeliner on the first girl turned out to be a perfect zig zag line. A gob of gold eye shadow and my constantly reminding them of the ‘more is less’ mantra did the trick. By the end of it, more or less, all of us had the Indian goddess-like eyes and were feeling rather peppy. Just then I realized that we had all forgotten to do my hair, the one thing I had come here for! After several apologies, Pree went to business rather quickly and plugged the curling iron in, warning us to stay away from that area or we will get a burn. It was going to take about 5 mins she said. I must say those 5 mins were the longest 5 mins I had been through. Anyone who ventured in the direction of the deadly plugged-in curling iron or even looked in that direction got yelled at by Pree. ..watch out...stay away, don't get burned! As a result, soon we were all sitting putt in our spots, twiddling our fingers and toes, staring at the darn iron hoping our glares would heat it up faster. As soon as I got the 'go' signal, I ran to the iron and wrapped my hair around it waiting for Pree to come and do her magic. But wait...whats this? The iron was cold, colder than cold...colder than its ever been before! Turns out that a certain someone, who had wasted her energy warning us about the dreaded hot iron, had forgotten to turn the curling rod on 😐 , and since it was placed near a window, it had turned colder than usual. I don’t even want to mention how my hair tuned out eventually, needless to say, my performance would have been a notch better if I had the gorgeous curls that I was promised :-/   

A few times during this dress up party, Pree had mentioned the dahi bhalla (yogurt dumplings) she had prepared for us so we could eat a bit before heading out. Very thoughful of her, a perfect host I must say, since I was already starving even before I came to her place. However, in all the drama to convert the ‘less is more’ to the ‘more is less’ look and the heating and re-heating of the curling rod we had lost a lot of time. So as soon as we finished the putting bindis of our foreheads, we ran out of Pree’s house, got into the car to get on our way. No point in looking like bombshells but reaching late and missing our performance! At this point, a doubt started creeping into my head...the dahi bhalla...we never even got to see them...was it just a myth?? Did they even exist? Later on after our event, when I brought this up to Pree that I am doubting their existence, she promptly sent me this pic of a well laid out plate sitting on the kitchen counter as a proof. I can tell you this, that my performance would have certainly been another notch higher if a few of those bhallas were sitting in my stomach instead of that kitchen counter  :-/   

Jab we never met!

The car ride to the theatre was quite full of dramatics too. All of us plugged in the address in our smart phones and we all got different directions, each phone suggesting a different highway to take. Not to be out-smartened by a mere smart phone, the ever-so-efficient Ms. S who had agreed to be the navigator, promptly called her husband, who was going there on his own with the kids, to see what highway he had taken and to check if the road was clear for us to embark on it. After all, the makeup laden performing artists were arriving in full gear and had no time for road delays and local riff-raff. Meanwhile I noticed Pree was sitting rather quietly in the car, well, she was sulking a bit because I had objected to her driving us to the event. I had my reasons, you see... she may be a great driver and all (as claimed by her), but she does have a unique sense of direction, basically turning left when the GPS says turn right and vice-versa.  Maybe she has her own driving mantra, where left is right and right is left!